San Francisco, CA (via Belden, CA) – While mainstream economists have been obsessing over soaring oil prices, economists at False Profit, LLC — more concerned with Life Quality Averages — have been glued to the screens watching the results of soaring global temperatures.

The results are not good: Belden is burning.

False Profit, LLC’s annual Life Quality Enhancement product, Priceless, was scheduled for release in Belden this coming weekend but has been recalled due to uncontained pre-apocalyptic wildfire. Insiders at the company are reporting that Priceless is now set for release later this summer.

In response, False Profit’s Research and Development Brigade worked frantically for two days to develop a replacement product. False Profit’s first response to the statewide catastrophe, called EVAC!, is set to be unveiled at a warehouse location in San Francisco on Saturday, July 5th, 2008.

“We are very happy to present EVAC! It was a labor of love,” said Stephen Trichter, Chief Internal Operations Officer at False Profit, LLC, referring to the newly minted party.

Anonymous sources revealed that EVAC! will feature:

Chris de Luca v. Phon.o
EPROM
Random Rab
Phat Conductor (aka Ill Gates)
ANASIA
Dr. Toast
Bass Science
Ten and Tracer

The Joy Thermometer is rising.

false-profit.com/2008/07/05/evac/

EVAC!
10p - 6a
Bar and snacks available, bring your own water container
$15-20 (sliding scale, we are trying to recoup some of the financial loss incurred from canceling Priceless)
Info line: 415 820 3954 (call for directions on Saturday)